CSIS Admits: We Will Tickle Torture You For The Information

CSIS ENDORSES USE OF UNORTHODOX TORTURE METHODS

 CSIS has given the a ok to agents that wish to use unorthodox torture methods to extract information from you whenever they should so desire to do so and as a result they have come up with a list of good torture practices to follow when in need of a good torture regimen for those pesky prisoners that just refuse to speak…or really don’t know anytning at all, but will speak like fountains when hit with the electrode in the ass.
 Agents are now permitted to use things like advanced feather tortures, wakeboarding behind the Queen Mary with a weight tied around your testicles and several other juicy things that would make you laugh or cry dependant upon which side of the S & M spectrum you hang on.
 The most frighteneing aspect of the new advanced torture practices is the new “pull your own foreskin through a large metal zipper that is attached to a photo of Rita MacNeil.”
 It is not known if this new method has worked or not.I’m still trying to remove the zipper.I’ll let you know.
 
 
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