Questions That Haunt Me…..

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated 
instead of just murdered?

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your 
thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in 
for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good 
idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like 
every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court,

is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie,

but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to 
look at things on the ground?

do doctors leave the room while you change?

going to see you naked anyway.

Why is ‘bra’ singular

and ‘panties’ plural?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse

drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while

Pluto remains on all fours?

They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he 
just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what 
is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons,

does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing

the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a 
hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but 
when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


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