New Complaint Procedures For Woodstock City Hall

Frequently Asked Questions
FOR THOSE CITIZENS TOO STUPID TO KNOW THIS ALREADY.
Q. What does the Integrity Commissioner do?
A. He earns a paycheque
Q. What does the Code of Conduct cover?
A. The Code of Conduct deals with a broad range of unidentifiable ideas.
Q. Does the Integrity Commissioner have authority over all violations of the Code of Conduct?
A. City Council has adopted a complaint protocol that guarantees you will never see your complaint heard.
Q. Who can make a complaint?
A. Members of the public as well as other Councillors and the City staff can all file complaints under the Protocol if they wish to sacfrifice themselves to the forces of evil.
Q. How can I make a complaint?
A. The Protocol tells you how to stand up and flap your wings.
Q. What happens once I file my complaint?
A. The City Clerk forwards it to the Integrity Commissioner who then asks for a paycheque to cover his expenses. Then they call in the burial team.
Q. What happens to the Integrity Commissioner’s report?
A. When the Integrity Commissioner completes a report, the City Clerk throws it in the garbage and calls the mayor.
Q. Can the Integrity Commissioner respond to complaints about City staff?
A. The Integrity Commissioner does not have any authority. he makes lots of money doing things that are completely irrelevant to us.
Q. My Councillor is supporting a developer’s application before the Committee of Adjustment and refuses to meet with me to listen to my concerns with the application. Is this a matter about which I can complain to the Integrity Commissioner?
A. No. It is not a violation of the Code of Conduct for a member to refuse to meet with a constituent. They were elected silly, not hired!
Q. I believe a Member has violated the Code of Conduct and want to file a complaint. However, I do not want the Member to know my identity. What should I do?
A. The Code of Conduct and the Complaint Protocol make no provision for anonymous complaints. We really need your name and address so we can send someone to pay you a visit in the night.
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3 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    bang on

  2. Anonymous
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    “A. He earns a paycheque”

    He hasn’t earned anything yet. He’s been paid plenty but he hasn’t earned a damn thing.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    What a scam!


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